if romance is the memory of an imagined future
my crush / on you– reproduces by budding / it grows tiny new crushes on its skin / a new crush on the slightness of your
hands / on the collar of your shirt curling / 100 more on your nervous tics / sorry for bringing those up / sorry they all
matured and / grew to bursting and fell / out of their own pores / sorry this became unmanageable.
i want you to not text me / so i can fret / be performative and fraught / and fail the math of you / and take you again.
show my work / in every sobbing climax in every crescent impression on my palm /
there is a version of you caressing my face with the back of a boxing glove /
i can’t wait to see what a droplet looks like / on your eyelash / i can’t wait to find a tick in the seam / of my groin after
falling asleep / in the thicket of you. to brush your bramble / and feel the fear and sadness of pain.
(the single white female twin ouroboros binary system)
i want to date you in the way where we just talk about what hell is to us
it’s my dad on a god mic
it’s the movie the big lebowski
a baseball game in extra innings
i want to single white female you
but i want you to single white female me.
i want to be a single white female star orbiting around your single white female star.
i want them to see us through a telescope.
to suckle from your toes while you suckle from my toes.
we can be the single white female twin ouroboros binary system, and and we can be a heavenly event.
my hell is the papercut where you have questions
about why i talk so loud and change the subject
where you say something that really hurts me and i spit my trauma at you like you should have figured it out already
i want to sit in the passengers seat of your car so many times
i want to burn my legs to the vinyl
and peel them off and leave the question of us there
a forensic quantity of my skin or my hair or /
a microscopic fiber of the kiss i conjured
Zach Blackwood is a queer black poet and contemporary performance curator in Philadelphia, PA. He has poems published or forthcoming in Peach Magazine, Metatron, Bedfellows Magazine, and Tenderness, yea. He lives with a beautiful dog named Pig. Follow @blackwhom on Twitter and Instagram for Pig pics.
Featured Image by Jona Fine