“God Complex” by Estefania Muñoz

God Complex

I am god and I am riddled with leprosy
My gospel is mange the disciples are pre existing conditions
and it becomes a plague to the poor to exist
If i could count subtle aggravations with all the fingers on all my hands
I’d decide not to even bother with remembering but rather forget but not forgive like the way
most people will forget my name and forgive themselves all the same
Walk into stairless crumbling apartments like this is my gospel
animal crackers with oj, and this is salvation in small portions
Foggy minds reading the good books and drinking shitty communion wine
there is only heaven in folds of skin
Day drink to night think about the minotaur and the cursed artifacts in the tombs
and wombs of women like ted bundy’s mom

I am god but less so than any of you
You can find me in the great value section of thrifty deities
I can not create the cosmos but I’d like to think that i know what they’d look like if i could
Fill space and time with an ocean fill the oceans with dust,
everything is nothing and i can make a world on lines of paper but probably nowhere else
Do not pray to me but rather pray at me violently with what fires and explosions make you who
you are
and what will you do with the sum of your experience
Find me in a heaven full of tar and jars filled with nothing but fresh air
I will not lead you on a 40 year walk through the desert
but you can walk with me to the coffee shop and we can talk about whatever we want until the
sun sets and i will know that this is worship
And all my commands are written in scented marker and its only a single line stating that you
should do the things you enjoy
and make art and broken Windows of the things you do not.

 

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Estefania Muñoz is a Mexican immigrant and Colorado-based poet who is afraid of tubas. She likes to make art and dance in the rain (metaphorically, but not physically). She had a bad poem published in high school by The World Poetry movement. Her work includes reading poetry at events to benefit domestic abuse survivors, benefits for Planned Parenthood, and anything in between. She once broke someone’s nose with a tennis racquet and still feels bad about it.

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