This Time I Played the Asshole, by Alfonso Mango

this time i played the asshole
i’m the one who swung the sword
took the beast to the field at night
and shot it in the back of the head
that’s me right there

so this is how it feels
to be the blunt end of the bat
against the unsuspecting skull
to put on devil horns and a little red suit
to wander around the party
to haunt the meek and spike the punch
to be thrown out on the sidewalk for bad behavior

to be truly infamous
to the studio audience of your heart
watching live from the safety of their homes
as i pour gas on the house that we built together
light a match
and run

it’s a weird place to visit
this strangely moral neighborhood
where to fit in with the locals
you gotta do
which hurts the most

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Alfonso Mango is a Pall Mall smoking degenerate and an armchair nihilist. He enjoys feeding bread to ducks and refusing to leave all you can eat buffets. He comes to you via Las Vegas.


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